Building Confidence to Approach Women
Let’s
face it, some of us are just naturally shy.
We have a hard time approaching others, particularly beautiful
women. This unwillingness to take the risk inherent
in talking with a great-looking woman can absolutely destroy our
ability to hook up on a regular basis.
Obviously, an ability to approach a girl is essential to
becoming a high-powered seducer.
There
is no overnight miracle cure for this kind of shyness. Being a little reluctant to strike up conversations
is not just a simple matter of preference one can decide to suddenly
disregard. These tendencies
are a product of years of personality and, to a large extent,
our very personality. Although
we may want to become more outgoing, becoming a more social person
can require some time and effort.
Fortunately, there are techniques one can use to transform themselves
from an introverted person unwilling to approach another into
a more extroverted person willing to strike up a conversation
with any hot woman. Although many strategies exist to overcome shyness,
at least two have proven track records of success: practice and admitting the problem.
Practice
The
old adage that “practice makes perfect” holds as true for overcoming
shyness as it is for any other skill.
With repetition, approaching a woman will become easier
and easier until it is eventually second nature.
This may seem perfectly reasonable to a shy would-be Romeo, but
we can imagine his immediate rebuttal:
“Sure, I would do better with practice, but how in the
hell am I supposed to build up the courage to try in the first
place? That’s the whole
problem!” This criticism
of practicing your approach skills, however, works on the underlying
assumption that you should begin your practice efforts approaching
hot women in whom you are interested.
This is not the case.
Instead,
practice on women in whom you don’t have an interest.
That girl at the cash register, for instance. Nothing special or enticing about her. Talk to her.
Just a little chitchat can begin to get you prepared for
bigger and better things later.
By making a bit of Smalltalk with a variety of women on
a regular basis, you can eventually develop the conversational
experience and skills that will later allow you to approach beautiful
women successfully.
Amazingly,
practicing your ability to converse and approach women will begin
to retrain your psyche and build your confidence so that approaching
hot prospects later will be a breeze.
It also teaches you what seems to “work” in terms of eliciting
a smile or response from women. It can be a real confidence builder.
Admitting
the Problem
Well, if you have read this far you have already admitted the
problem to yourself, which is great.
That evidences an understanding of what is holding you
back and opens you up for suggestions as to how to handle the
seduction barrier we call shyness. However, this tip doesn’t refer to admitting
your problem to yourself. Surprisingly,
it involves admitting the problem to the woman in which you are
interested.
It’s easy to imagine a startled reaction to this pearl of wisdom: “Why would I tell a hot girl that I was a complete
klutz with women? I should
be trying to be smooth and cool, not confessing to being a introvert!” That perspective may seem to make some sense
at face value, but in reality confessing your problem with approaching
gorgeous women can be a huge plus.
First, it takes the pressure off of you.
If you tell a woman right away that you generally aren’t
able to do this sort of thing but that you really felt a need
to introduce yourself, your cards are on the table from the get-go.
There is no lingering pressure to play Mr. Cool or to be
an incredibly smooth pick-up artist.
By alleviating this pressure, you will automatically improve
your performance.
Secondly, it is incredibly flattering to the woman you approach. Instead of feeling as if she might need to fend
off an attack by another “player,” she is likely to be almost
honored by your willingness to overcome your shyness just to talk
to her. It’s the kind of ego boost that makes a female
feel great—and she will have choice but to attribute that special
feeling directly to you.
Finally,
it defines you as a sincere person.
Too often, a man on the make will automatically define
himself as such. Women are not foolish, they are able to recognize
many of the guys who try to be “smooth operators” and fall just
short of the mark. By casting
yourself as an earnest guy with a real interest in her, the girl
you approach will perceive you differently—and more positively.
Don’t
let being a shy guy prevent you from having success with women. Instead, begin to practice interacting with
others in non-threatening situations in order to build your skills
and confidence. Then, when
you feel comfortable enough to approach a hot prospect, admit
your problem right up front in order to decrease the pressure
on you, flatter her and paint you as “one of the good guys.”
You may not be able to cure shyness overnight, but you
can solve your problem.